The authoritarian parenting style sets high standards for children to follow, but it isn’t associated with the best child outcomes. On the contrary, studies indicate that another style with a somewhat similar name — authoritative parenting — is better. So what’s the difference between these styles? How can you tell if your own approach is authoritarian? And what are the psychological and cultural factors that lead parents to adopt an authoritarian approach?
You might have a good handle on what it means to favor authoritarian government: The blind submission to authority. The stifling of autonomous, critical thinking. The attempt control people through threats and fear.
But how does this compare with authoritarian parenting? And what makes authoritarian parenting different from other approaches to child-rearing?
Authoritarian versus authoritative parenting
First, it’s important to distinguish authoritarian parenting from authoritative parenting. They have similar names, and both styles of parenting set high standards of conduct. Parents establish rules, limits, or boundaries.
But there are crucial differences. As I note elsewhere, authoritative parents are more responsive and nurturing. In addition, they allow room for discussion, and they provide kids with meaningful, age-appropriate explanations about the reasons for rules. In other words, the authoritative parenting style attempts to shape behavior by maintaining warm connections and fostering the skills kids need to self-regulate and think for themselves.
And authoritarian parenting? We might think of boot camp, with the parent as drill sergeant. A drill sergeant insists on unquestioning obedience. He punishes autonomy. His purpose is to “break” the will, so he can reshape people according to an absolute standard.
He’s not a warm, fuzzy kind of guy, and he’s not going to inspire feelings of intimacy. But when his system works, he can boast about one thing: His recruits tend to obey.
Admittedly, the analogy is cartoonish. But is it far from the mark? Not by much.
How psychologists define the authoritarian parenting style
When developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind first proposed her definition of authoritarian parenting, she cited the 18th century views of Puritan Susannah Wesley — not military training techniques. But the ideas were pretty much the same.
According to Baumrind (1966), authoritarian parents:
- don’t encourage verbal give-and-take;
- are “obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without question”;
- tend to control their children through shaming, the withdrawal of love, or other punishments; and
- don’t usually attempt to explain the reasons for rules.
In other words, authoritarian parenting takes a harsh, “my way or the highway” approach to discipline. Instead of guiding kids towards positive choices (by offering support, dialogue, and encouragement), the emphasis is on asserting dominance. Caregivers enforce strict rules under threat of punishment. They discourage negotiation, and make little or no effort to foster a child’s sense of autonomy.
Other researchers have restated Baumrind’s definition in terms of two factors:
1. Warmth, also known as responsiveness. This quality is defined as “the extent to which parents intentionally foster individuality, self-regulation, and self-assertion by being attuned, supportive, and acquiescent to children’s special needs and demands” (Baumrind 1991).
2. Control, also known as parental demandingness. This refers to “the claims parents make on children to become integrated into the family whole, by their maturity demands, supervision, disciplinary efforts and willingness to confront the child who disobeys” (Baumrind 1991).
Authoritative parents show high levels of warmth and control. Authoritarian caregivers how high levels of control but only low levels of warmth.
Does the difference matter?
It seems to make an important difference to kids. As I explain in my article about child outcomes, behavior problems tend to worsen when parents take a harsh approach to discipline (Pinquart 2017).
In addition, authoritarian parenting has been linked with the development of mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Moreover, the children of authoritarian parents show lower levels or social competence (e.g., Li et al 2023), and tend to display fewer “prosocial” behaviors (e.g., Wong et al 2021). They may even be at a disadvantage in the classroom.
By contrast, research suggests that the best-adjusted, best-behaved, most resourceful, and highest-achieving kids have authoritative parents — not authoritarian ones.
And for some outcomes, children with authoritarian parents aren’t just second best. They may also perform more poorly than kids with permissive parents — caregivers who show warmth, but don’t enforce rules (Calafat et al 2014).
For more information about the effects of authoritarianism on a child’s development, see my article, “Authoritarian parenting outcomes: What happens to the kids?”
But how can you be sure what your parenting style really is?
In everyday life, all parents experience ups and downs, and changes of mood. They may behave differently depending on what stresses they feel, or what feedback they get from their children. And people can show warmth — or withhold warmth — in a variety of ways. Where exactly should we draw the line between authoritarian and authoritative parenting?
Let’s take a look at how researchers do it.
What do psychologists look for when they rate a parent as authoritarian?
It’s one thing to say that authoritarian parents exert lots of control and relatively little warmth. But what does this actually look like in the day-to-day world? And how do researchers decide that a parent’s style is authoritarian?
To make judgments, researchers sometimes use direct observation.
For example, they might assign kids and parents a joint task — like a puzzle to solve—and watch to see how they interact. In one such study, investigators watched to see if parents showed approval, took over the task, or made disapproving comments (Janssens and Dekovic 1997). If a parent exerted lots of behavioral control — or displayed negativity — he or she would be scored as more authoritarian.
Another approach is to use questionnaires.
In these cases, parents (or kids) are asked to rate with a four point scale ( 1= “almost never true”, 4 = “almost always true”) their agreement or disagreement with statements about their family relationships (e.g., Lamborn et al 1991; Garcia and Gracia 2009).
For instance, parents are MORE likely to be identified as authoritarian if they strongly AGREE with statements like:
- When I ask my child to do something, and he asks why, I say something like “because I said so,” or “because I want you to do it.”
- I punish my child by withholding expressions of affection
- I explode in anger towards my child
- I yell or shout when child misbehaves
Parents are LESS likely to be identified as authoritarian if they strongly AGREE with statements like:
- I talk to my kids about our plans and I listen to what my children have to say
- I try to help and comfort my child when he is upset
- My child feels she can come to me when she has a problem
What if you use a mix of tactics? What if you sometimes yell at your child when he or she misbehaves?
A parent’s classification doesn’t depend on one or two questions. It’s your overall scores in two areas — warmth and control — that matters.
Typically, researchers look at the distribution of scores for their entire sample and set cutoffs for deciding who is authoritarian. For example, researchers often define a parent as “authoritarian” if her score for warmth falls in the lower third of the distribution and her score for control falls in the upper third of the distribution.
In other words, researchers often grade their questionnaires on a curve. The authoritarian parenting style is treated as a relative concept, and whether or not your parenting is classified as “authoritarian” will depend — at least in part — on the population you are compared with.
Are authoritarian parents abusive?
Not necessarily. Studies indicate that authoritarian parenting can put you at higher risk of crossing the line — of becoming physically or emotionally abusive. But caregivers can meet the Baumrind’s definition of authoritarian, yet refrain from behavior that is recognized as legally abusive (Morgan et al 2022).
What about love? Do authoritarian parents love their kids?
They might display less warmth and affection towards their children, especially when they are angry or imposing punishments. But this doesn’t mean they don’t love their kids. On the contrary, some parents may use authoritarian tactics because they believe they are preparing their kids to survive the harsh conditions of an inflexible, hierarchical world.
What causes authoritarian parenting?
There are several causes.
First, parents may repeat the same tactics they remember from their own childhood.
People tend to fall back on the same parenting styles they encountered when they were children. So authoritarian parenting is socially transmitted from one generation to the next.
Second, parents may react with more authoritarianism when they feel stressed or overwhelmed.
Stress and anxiety can push parents towards harsh or authoritarian behavior (e.g., Lomanowska et al 2017; Niu et al 2018; Morgan et al 2022; Liu et al 2023). And this includes the stresses that parents may experience if they have kids with behavior problems.
Yes, authoritarian parenting puts kids at higher risk for developing behavior problems, but the reverse is also true: Parents are at higher risk for adopting authoritarian parenting practices if their kids are unusually difficult.
For instance, in a study tracking more than 375 famillies over time, researchers found that early behavior problems — such as frequent displays of anger, frustration, and poor self -control — tended to increase a parent’s risk of practicing authoritarian parenting at a later time point (Lee et al 2013).
Third, parents are influenced by cultural norms and environmental cues.
If everyone around you is adopting an authoritarian style — or you feel that your kids will be at a disadvantage if they don’t learn to conform to authoritarian expectations — you are more likely to follow suit.
What about cultural differences? Are there other ways of being “authoritarian”?
As noted above, Baumrind’s model of authoritarian parenting style was based, in part, on the religious views of an18th century Puritan. Does this model fit all types of parents—even parents from non-Western backgrounds?
Maybe not.
The Baumrind definition suggests a rather distant, cold relationship between parent and child, and for many European-Americans, this characterization might fit. One cross-cultural study found that European-American kids who reported feeling less close to their parents were more likely to come from authoritarian homes (Chao 2000).
But in some populations, kids may interpret the authoritarian approach as a sign that adults care about them.
For instance, a preschool teacher recounts how she scolded some Haitian-American kids for crossing a parking lot without her. Then she said, “I don’t want you to go alone. Why do I want you to wait for me, do you know?”
“Yes,” a child answered, “because you like us” (Ballenger 1992).
Something similar may apply to traditional Chinese families. Psychologist Ruth Chao has proposed a cultural variant of authoritarian parenting, chiao shun, which she translates as “training.”
According to Chao, chaio shun emphasizes harmonious family relationships, not the domination of the child.
In a study of Chinese immigrants to the United States, Chao found that first-generation immigrants felt as close to their parents as did European-Americans. And there was no correlation between closeness and authoritarian parenting. Kids who reported feeling less close to their parents were not more likely to come from authoritarian households (Chao 2000).
So authoritarian parenting isn’t always associated with cold or distant family relationships. In some cultures, authoritarianism may be associated with feelings of connection and care.
And the negative effects may also depend on whether or not kids perceive their upbringing to be normal or mainstream.
If you live in a community where authoritarian parenting is rare, you might find it more disturbing if your parent takes an authoritarian approach with you. International research supports this idea (Lansford et al 2018a).
Are there any cultural settings where authoritarian parenting leads to the best child outcomes?
There is a lot of cultural diversity in the world, and so it’s hard to make sweeping generalizations. But when researchers compare outcomes across a wide range of cultures, the same theme emerges: It’s authoritative parenting — not authoritarianism — that comes out on top.
In societies worldwide, authoritarianism is linked with children’s aggressive behavior problems and lower levels of social competence. When parents take a more authoritative approach — showing high levels of warmth and reasoning with their kids — child outcomes improve (Landsford et al 2018b; Ward et al 2023; Ward et al 2022; Zhou 2022; Landsford et al 2018b).
For example, Martin Pinquart and Rubina Kauser conducted a meta-analysis of 428 studies, looking for evidence that culture modifies the effects of authoritarianism on behavior problems and school performance.
The researchers found that “to some extent” authoritarian parenting is “tolerable in a few cultural contexts” (Pinquart and Kauser 2018). But — overall — the parenting style with the best track record is authoritative.
This is true even in places like China — where authoritarian parenting has been the cultural norm. Children from authoritarian homes tend to struggle more with emotional self-regulation and peer interactions (Li et al 2024). To the degree that they receive less parental warmth, they experience more behavior problems (Wang et al 2024; Ran et al 2021), and they tend to perform worse academically (Pong et al 2010).
For the details, see my article about the effects of the authoritarian parenting style on kids. In addition, check out my article, “Traditional Chinese parenting: What research says about Chinese kids and why they succeed.”
There I review claims that authoritarianism is sometimes beneficial for Chinese kids, and I offer alternative explanations for the academic achievements of many Chinese-Americans.
More reading
As noted above, you can read more about the effects of authoritarianism on children here. And for information about other parenting styles, check out this evidence-based guide.
References: The authoritarian parenting style
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Content last modified 3/2024
Portions of the text derive from earlier versions of this article, written by the same author
image of troops in formation, view of trousers and boots, by overcrew / istock
image of father sitting with arms crossed next to sullen boy by Snesky / istock